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grieving poetry

a poem – 4.4.2019

4.4.2019

Ten years ago – my heart was breaking, sitting, waiting,

hoping

Seven years ago – my heart was filling, fantasizing about the possibilities

For a moment – I forgot myself

For a moment – I forgave myself

For a moment – I loved myself

For a moment – I loved you

For a moment – I felt loved by you

At this moment – I have no such illusions

Today

My heart is severed

Yet

It continues to pump

Each beat

Keeps my body alive

And

Reminds me

That your body is not

How do I breathe

Why do I breathe

I have given I that I can, but it is not enough

It is not enough to protect, to care, to heal, to be worthy, to love

Now

Silence

Trembling

Shaking

Salty tears

Saturate

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